What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 19.06.2025 00:07
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Why do I want to suck cock tonight?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
She loved him until the end.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Have you ever really seen aliens or UFOs by yourself? Can you share your experience?
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Have you ever seen your wife being fucked?
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I had hoped to write a book about this .
What celebrity do you admire the most?
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Some men love anal sex more than vaginal sex. Why?
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
How is a narcissist likely to handle situations when confronted with hard truths about themselves?
I said to her
Especially a lifetime of it.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Heart in distress? 9 silent symptoms you shouldn’t overlook - Times of India
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I could never make a relationship work though!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
When she asked me how she looked .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
How can I watch porn on TikTok?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My life is so biszare .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Why are American university students fine with sharing a room?
I write beautiful poetry .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
All the time i was locked up.
EchoStar Soars 49% As Trump Urges FCC To Settle Dispute - Investor's Business Daily
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
So, i spoilt her more .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I will be 64.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She found it foreign!.
Comes on , in middle age.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I know ,a lot about trauma.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I think the readers, may guess!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I never cut or harmed myself..
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
He resisted the act ,that day.
As i do to all so called friends.?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
And i lived it daily.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
This is soul school!.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I don,t even have a pension.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I couldn’t, believe it.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
She married twice! .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
It was going to be , some day.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Who then, do I blame.?
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I waited trembling.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Put me off passion for life!!
My family never makes their pension either.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He knew the spot.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
We were not on the streets..
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Would this be the day?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
She wouldn,t have been !
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
She was in good health!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
But ive been too sick for many years..
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But, we were locked up after school.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
So whats the point in blame.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
What did i know ?
I was 9 years of age.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I was scared of men, in general
I was seconnd youngest,
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
I have no regrets .
I was very sick at this time too.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Im still living with it.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But it wasn’t much.
One cannot live in the past .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
We all went to grammer schools
Why did i forgive my father ?
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Ive learnt so much.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.